Saturday, May 2, 2009

Theriot Found Some of Sammy's Leftover Flintstones Vitamins

I just returned from the Ryan Theriot Power Hour at Wrigley. I don't know what Theriot has been eating, drinking, or getting injected into his body by Alex Rodriguez's cousin, but he probably hit his first inning homerun as hard as he has ever hit a ball in his entire life.

He hit the ball into a fairly steady wind that was blowing across Wrigley from left to right, so it was not a cheap homerun at all, and completely shocked the hell out of us up in Aisle 424.

As he was rounding the bases, the general mood of Aisle 424 was summed up by one of the guys sitting to my left who said, "Was that f---ing Theriot? Holy s---! What the f---?!"

Slappy's recent homerun prowess is making my nickname seem silly in light of the fact that he has as many homeruns on the season as Derek Lee (who later hit a ball into Kingman territory across Waveland) and two more than Geovany Soto. Nevertheless, I will still refer to him as Slappy until we stop being shocked by his power.

As for the rest of the game, we were in store for some more unlikely thrills from the Bizarro Cubs when Ted Lilly hammered a two-run double over the right-fielder's head, Micah Hoffpauir made a diving catch on a Hanley Ramirez linedrive, and the Cubs bullpen in the form of Aaron Heilman struck out the side in the 9th inning.

All in all, it was a very nice, relaxing day to be at the ballpark, which is good since I'm going to need every bit of heart muscle at full strength for the Bulls/Celtics Game 7 later tonight.


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