Finding the Right Seat 101

It never ceases to amaze me that so many people have such trouble understanding the seating configuration at Wrigley, and that the people who work at Wrigley fail to notice that anybody new in the ballpark doesn't know where they are supposed to sit.

It seems that 99% of the ushers' job description at Wrigley is to make sure that people aren't trying to sit in the wrong deck. Once someone has assured an usher that they do indeed have an upper deck ticket, the ushers' job is over and that person can go sit wherever the heck they want.

So, since nobody who actually works there is interested in herding the rookies to their proper seats, please feel free to pass along this handy chart of how seating at Wrigley works:

As you walk towards the field from the walkway, the seats numbered 1, 2, 3, etc. are on you right. The seats numbered 101, 102, 103 are on your left. This is why when you look at your ticket, it says what Aisle, Row and Seat you are seated in. Its really not hard at all. No matter what Aisle you are in, whether you are in the Club Boxes, Terrace Reserved, or the top corner Upper Deck reserved seats, the chart holds true.

Personally, I find this system to be much easier than having a "Section" where there are two ways to enter each seating section, from either the right or the left. Which aisle is closest to your seat? It is hard to know for sure until you pick an aisle. Then, you undoubtedly find yourself climbing over ten people to get to a seat you could have accessed from the other side without climbing over anyone.

At Wrigley, if you go to the designated Aisle on your ticket, you will be as close to your seat as you can be and will step on the bare minimum number of people who are already seated.

I wouldn't have to be this condescending about a fairly simple process if the Wrigley ushers were useful in the slightest. The Cubs like to compare themselves to the Boston Red Sox when they raise our ticket prices every year, but you know what the Fenway ushers do? They show you to your seat and they have a towel to wipe it off for you.

I have sat about 15 rows back halfway between third and the Monster - the usher was right there. I have sat a few rows behind the Peske Pole - the usher was right there. I sat in the bleachers behind the bullpen and a couple of college kids had tried to sneak in to yell at the opposing team - the ushers asked the kids to leave and apologized to us for the delay.

I would fall over and die of a heart attack right then and there if I even received half that level of customer service at Wrigley.

Am I really asking for too much when our seats are costing $60 each to expect that I wouldn't have to get into an argument with some drunken, Horry Cow shirt-wearing asswipe who is trying to act all tough in front of his girlfriend, the lovely Ms. Coinslot McBoobjob? When that happens, the ushers are nowhere to be found.

Yet I get hassled by an usher on the ramp to the upper deck as many as three times to prove I have a ticket for the upper deck.

Maybe this wouldn't be pissing me off so much if the Cubs bullpen could throw anything resembling a strike, the offense would stop finding new and interesting ways to not score a runner from third with less than two outs, and our starters could ever go longer than six innings without having to throw 200 pitches.