Cubs Looking For Arms In All the Wrong Places

As the Cubs were managing to get completely shut down again by a team that isn't very good and just before Jeff Grabow gave up a homerun that gave the Mets a lead of something like a million runs (at least, that is how it felt), Ken Rosenthal tweeted out news that the Cubs were looking to add a veteran arm to their staff:

Sources: Free-agent RHP Braden Looper threw today for #Cubs in Chicago. Willing to be flexible on role if Cubs want him. #MLB.

For those who may not be familiar, Looper was with Milwaukee last year busily surrendering 39 homeruns and 113 earned runs, both leading the league.  His WHIP was 1.49, so those weren't all solo shots.

His career WHIP of 1.37 isn't exactly great either, so even if he returned to his normal average self, he's not that good.

The problem is a 1.49 WHIP looks absolutely fantastic next to Jeff Samardzija's numbers so far.  That is how bad the Cubs' bullpen is.  If they acquire one of last year's shittiest pitchers, it would be an improvement over what they currently have.

Still, I think that they should investigate other options.  I have taken the liberty of putting together some other possibilities that would also be an improvement over Jeff Samardzija and Friends:

Mark Prior

Matt Karchner

Dave Dravecky

Aaron Miles

Justin Bieber

Steven Hawking

Paul Sullivan

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UPDATE

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Here's a few more...

Adam Carolla

Mariah Carey

 

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