Position: 2nd Base/Backup SS?
Batting Order Position: 7th?
Opening Day Age: 29
Uniform Number: 17
Can you even believe this guy is the only asset the Cubs have left from trading Sammy Sosa?: No.
After last season, we have to use the term "asset" loosely when referring to Fontenot, but he is a warm body that Lou still sees as a potential useful member of the team. That sure is what you hope a team can get in return for a player who single-handedly carried your team for about five years and would be an easy Hall of Fame vote if the writers would get it through their heads that damn near everyone was using some sort of PED at the time, and Sammy was among the best of them.
Who do I have to thank for allowing me to place a gratuitous photo of Megan Fox in an otherwise boring post about Mike Fontenot?: The Cubs Brickyard.
They probably also have a pretty good case to be made that they should get some royalties from the upcoming movie, She's Out of My League. The storyline seems to be stolen from one of their blog posts about Mike Fontenot trying to tell his teammates that he was dating Megan Fox, and none of them believing him.
“I’m not saying he doesn’t have a girlfriend. And I’m not even saying she isn’t hot. But she isn’t Megan Fox. Making knucklechildren with a Ladies Home Journal featuring an interview with Megan Fox doesn’t make her your girlfriend [said Mark DeRosa]...
“And I don’t know where he got those, but he got them fast. It only took him 30 minutes. Here’s what I know. Megan Fox lives in Los Angeles, a couple thousand miles away. I know what you’re thinking, maybe he had them at his place. Well, Mike lives way up North, approximately 45 minutes from Wrigley Field.”
Baseball-Reference.com's Most Similar Batter: Geronimo Pena (cue Sad Trombone)
Fourth Most Similar Batter Through the Age of 29: Mark DeRosa!
Why We Might Like Him:
- In 2008 he had an OPS of .909, earning him the nicknames "Little Babe Ruth" and "The Pocket Rocket"
- We think of him as a youngster because of his tiny stature and it is hard not to root for children.
- He is not Aaron Miles.
- Aaron Miles isn't here to take the heat off him as he puts up a .677 OPS like he did last year.
- The more he plays, the less we will see the awesomeness of Jeff Baker.
- Two words: The Mullet
- He looks a little too much like the Russian cry-baby ice skater, Evgeni Plushenko