Thursday, December 31, 2009

Come On 22! Hendry Needs a New Pair of Shoes!

Marlon Byrd.  Three years.  Fifteen million dollars.  I just want to inhale fumes from various cleaning supplies until I can convince myself that it isn't true.

Many people don't understand the move, but unfortunately, I do.  Marlon Byrd is the longshot, Hail Mary, please-let-me-keep-my-job, desperation move that Hendry hopes will keep him employed beyond the 2010 season.

He is no longer concerned about what is best for the long term success of the Cubs.  He can give a shit about 2011.  Everything is about 2010 and whatever miniscule shot this team has of winning the World Series and validating the misadventures of Spendin' Jim.  Unfortunately, he has a very limited amount of money (thus maybe he should be renamed Thrifty Jim), so his choices for "improving" the team were limited to a group of players who might possibly be slightly better than what Sam Fuld could provide at ten times the price.

Hendry has basically spent the last few years sitting at the blackjack table with a big pile of the Tribune's money and he has been splitting kings, doubling on twelve, and hitting on sixteen with the dealer showing a five.  He has been making horrible decisions and losing.  Badly.

Now, he is trying to get back all that cash he pissed away by going to the roulette table and putting everything he has on number 22.




Anybody who has ever tried to win back money from a casino in this manner knows that it rarely turns out well.  Everybody else in the world realizes that he might as well just take that money and set it on fire, but he has convinced himself that  he has a system that can beat the house.

So gather 'round the roulette table, Cubs fans, and start watching that ball spin.  Maybe we can will it into the slot that pays off.  Come on!  One time... please?

4 comments:

L.C. Nunez said...

Byrd is the latest in a line of great No. 22s in this franchise.

I'm not sure how he can match the past accomplishments of guys like Mike Harkey and Mark Prior.

I can't wait to find out.

/also wants to inhale fumes and pretend that this is a very early April Fool's joke gone wrong.

Aisle 424 said...

If this guy gives us a year anywhere close to the kind of year Prior gave us in 2003, the money is well spent. Unfortunately, he will most likely make us long for Mike Harkey.

Charley said...

Hendry I guess didn't learn from his last experiment with a Texas Rangers player (Bradley). Did Hendry even look at Byrd's statistics? First of all Byrd is 32, if the Cubs are going to spend $15 million can we get someone in the 27-30 range. After 8 seasons, Byrd has never played over 150 games in a season. Here's his game totals by season, 10, 135, 106, 79, 109, 122, and 146. Last season was decent from him, but I get the feeling of a Gary Matthews Jr. scenario when he signed with the Angels a few years ago.

I understand Hendry is under pressure to deliver someone after everything that has happened, but it feels like he makes moves using a magic 8 ball.

Janitorial Supplies said...

Inhaling cleaning supplies won't help fix this matter, just think about what it could be like being a Mets fan in New York. That should make things feel somewhat better.

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