Marlon Byrd. Three years. Fifteen million dollars. I just want to inhale fumes from various cleaning supplies until I can convince myself that it isn't true.
Many people don't understand the move, but unfortunately, I do. Marlon Byrd is the longshot, Hail Mary, please-let-me-keep-my-job, desperation move that Hendry hopes will keep him employed beyond the 2010 season.
He is no longer concerned about what is best for the long term success of the Cubs. He can give a shit about 2011. Everything is about 2010 and whatever miniscule shot this team has of winning the World Series and validating the misadventures of Spendin' Jim. Unfortunately, he has a very limited amount of money (thus maybe he should be renamed Thrifty Jim), so his choices for "improving" the team were limited to a group of players who might possibly be slightly better than what Sam Fuld could provide at ten times the price.
Hendry has basically spent the last few years sitting at the blackjack table with a big pile of the Tribune's money and he has been splitting kings, doubling on twelve, and hitting on sixteen with the dealer showing a five. He has been making horrible decisions and losing. Badly.
Now, he is trying to get back all that cash he pissed away by going to the roulette table and putting everything he has on number 22.
Anybody who has ever tried to win back money from a casino in this manner knows that it rarely turns out well. Everybody else in the world realizes that he might as well just take that money and set it on fire, but he has convinced himself that he has a system that can beat the house.
So gather 'round the roulette table, Cubs fans, and start watching that ball spin. Maybe we can will it into the slot that pays off. Come on! One time... please?