Getting to Know: Ryan Dempster

Name: Ryan Dempster

Position: Starting Pitcher

Bats/Throws: Right/Right

Opening Day Age: 33

Uniform Number: 46

Is there anything in this post about Dempster that I didn't already know?:  Probably not. 

Dempster is one of the most easily accessible Cubs and is a favorite of fans and the media.  It is unlikely I have turned up any new information on him from my couch.

Does he do a good Harry Caray impression?:  Not really.

He does an impression that is more of a Will Ferrell-doing-Harry-Caray impression, but whatever.  For a long time, no one did a George H.W. Bush impression and then Dana Carvey did his and suddenly everyone was doing a Bush impression that was actually a Carvey-doing-Bush impression. That's generally how impressions that hit the mainstream work.

My problem with Dempster's Harry impression is that it isn't funny.  It's not an homage because he makes Harry sound like a drunken stroke victim, which may have been accurate, but it isn't something that honors Harry's memory.  Meanwhile, everyone knows how to use the "Samardzija backwards is ajizdramas (heh heh)" or the "Paaaaahhhhped it up" bits when doing Harry, so he gets no points for originality.

How is his daughter doing?: Better.

"She's doing well. She's still unable to swallow but she's doing well. She's a tough little fighter."

As you may remember, Dempster's daughter was born with DiGeorge syndrome caused by a defect in a chromosome.  She has undergone numerous surgeries and is currently learning how to swallow, which doesn't sound like it should be difficult, but that is because we all knew how to do it instinctively. 

"You're taking an involuntary muscle and turning it into a voluntary muscle. You are teaching her to swallow," Dempster said.

Apparently, she is doing well enough where she will be able to travel with the rest of the family to Arizona while Dempster readies for the season.

"I watch what she goes through on a daily basis and I know she's tougher than everybody in here and a lot tougher than I am," he said standing at his locker. "So she's challenging me to be a lot better. That's for sure."

If you would like to learn more or donate to fight DiGeorge syndrome, you can go to the Dempster Family Foundation site here.

Baseball-Reference.com's Most Similar Pitcher: Matt Clement

Why We Might Like Him:

• He's a stand-up guy (get it?) and owns when he pitches poorly and doesn't get too full of himself when he pitches well.
• Since becoming a starter again in 2008 he is 28-15 with a 3.30 ERA and 1.257 WHIP, which is worlds better than Matt Clement.
• He buzzed Ryan Braun last year.

Why We Might Hate Him:

• There are those that haven't forgiven his bad outing in Game 1 of the 2008 NLDS.
• He is paid a lot of money to be the 2008 version of himself and that is a pretty lofty goal for any pitcher to achieve, much less one that is 33 years old now.
• Walks.  Those damn walks!  Throw a frickin' strike!  How hard is that?

What the Cubs Blogosphere Thinks of Him:

• Hire Jim Essian - "For as much shit as I give Dempster around here for being a terrible comedian, he’s been a good-to-great pitcher for the Cubs, he has had some very cool interactions with the fans, and he’s apparently a very likable and approachable guy. He also busted his ass the last couple of offseasons to get in better shape, and the results have paid off. Just try not to think of Game One last year."
• Cubs f/x - "One of the keys for Dempster appears to be a stat I call "Chase" - it's just swing rate on pitches out of the zone (zone=two foot wide plate, btw). He's 10th in the majors, with 30% of his pitches out of the zone yielding swings. As you'd expect, that rate is driven by the splitter and the slider, which both check in with Chase rates around 37%, and, combined, they account for 2 out of 5 pitches thrown by Dempster since 2007."
• Waxpaperbeercup - "No one should be expecting Dempster to duplicate the kind of success he had [in 2008], but that has more to do with how high the bar would be set for that to happen than how good a pitcher he really is. Fortunately, Dempster’s breakout year happened to come on the eve of the best buyer’s market in recent baseball history, so for him to live up to the contract he signed he’ll merely have to be good, not great. That being said, if he takes a step back this year it will probably have a lot to do with the regression in his HR/9 rate. Dempster has shown the ability to keep the ball on the ground and in the park, but it’s very unlikely that he’ll manage a .61 rate like he did last year."
• Goat Riders of the Apocalypse - For the statheads out there, Dempster's '09 season was worth 3.7 wins over a replacement level pitcher, a value of just over $16 million, or twice his 2009 salary.  How'd he do it? Demp ended up taking the meh-diocre route, allowing two or fewer runs in only 16 of his 31 starts, and allowing three runs in exactly three starts. That's 12 starts with 4 or more runs, which is kinda not really all that great, actually.

Cardinals Sign Puerto Rican Mark DeRosa

If I am reading fan reactions correctly on the interwebs, the Cardinals' signing of Felipe Lopez just guaranteed them a World Championship and the Ricketts are stupid horrible people who deserve to die for letting him slip away.  Felipe Lopez must be Spanish for Mark DeRosa.

I'm guessing Cubs fans will give him a standing ovation every time he comes to the plate when the Cardinals come to town too.

I know Cub fans want to have a league leader in something, but I'd hope we can agree that a guy that led the league in outs made for two straight seasons (2006-07) is probably not someone whom we should be pining for.

He has exactly two seasons out of nine where he finished above league average in OPS+.  Yes, one of those seasons was last year.  Remember the last time the Cubs signed a middle infielder coming off a career year?  His name was Aaron Miles.

I understand being pissed off about the suckiness of Mike Fontenot.  I even get why there may still be some doubters about the awesomeness that is Jeff Baker.  But, seriously?  Felipe Lopez was going to make you feel better about the Cubs' chances this season?

In a fit of pure optimism, I'm still far more apt to ignore one bad season from Fontenot when he played a large chunk of time out of position as he tried to replace Ramirez than I am to ignore seven and a half seasons of crap baseball from Felipe Lopez.

As far as I can tell.  Felipe Lopez is above average at having tattoos and a hot wife. 

But he is below average in baseball skills that actually help teams win games.

If we want below average baseball players to come in and replace Mike Fontenot just because we don't believe in him anymore, surely we'd rather see Theriot move to second and give the huge potential of Starlin Castro a shot to actually make a difference.  Felipe Lopez won't make a difference one way or the other for the Cubs or for the Cardinals.  But they have to pay him $2 million and the Cubs don't.  I'm fine with it.

Brett Jackson is Team Edward

The Cubs have had their share of weird guys over the years.  Ryan Freel claimed he had a midget named Farney living in his head, Julio Zuleta performed voodoo on bats, Turk Wendell brushed his teeth after every inning and chewed black licorice while he pitched (hence all the tooth brushing, I guess), Moises Alou peed on his own hands before games, and Glenallen Hill went on the disabled list because he smashed into a glass coffee table as a result of a nightmare he had about spiders.

Now, it seems that Brett Jackson, the Cubs' first round draft choice last year has a quirk of his own.  He really enjoys having blood drained from him.

Gordon Wittenmyer shared this little nugget in his piece today about how Jackson and Vitters would not oppose testing minor leaguers for HGH:

''I like it,'' said Brett Jackson, the affable center fielder from the University of California. ''I was telling [teammate Josh Vitters] when they were sucking my blood out [for annual physicals], I kind of liked it. Isn't that weird? That's weird. I enjoyed it. I like blood.''

I guess that would put him on Team Edward?

Hopefully he can play baseball as well as Edward and the rest of the Cullen family.



By the way, you have no idea how sad it makes me that I was aware of this scene's existence.

75-80% of Cubs News is About Soriano's Knee

Nothing pushes Ted Lilly's gimpy shoulder, Angel Guzman's secret knee surgery and personal family tragedy, and the anticipated battle for world domination between Ryan Theriot and Starlin Castro to the back page like a little sky-is-falling panic created by a comment from Alfonso Soriano.

The news of the day surrounds Alfonso Soriano's knee and how it is still not 100% after season-ending surgery last September.  As Bruce Levine reports:

"I don't feel 100 percent because I'm not running 100 percent," Soriano said on Monday. "I'm just running 75 to 80 percent, and I don't feel nothing that hurts. When I start running 100 percent I want to know how it feels."

Way to kill the happy buzz left over from the MOST TREMENDOUSLY TREMENDOUS HOCKEY GAME EVER PLAYED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!  Now, when people ask where I was during the Improbability on Ice, all I'll remember is that it was shortly before I found out that Soriano didn't report to camp ready to sprint around the bases at full speed on his first day after five whole months of rest and rehabilitation.  I am barely able to type as I lie here in a fetal position.

Meanwhile, Carrie Muskat is reporting that the Cubs asked Soriano not to fully run on his knee during the offseason to avoid setbacks.  So if he hasn't run on it, how is he gauging that percentage of recuperation?:

"I say in my mind I'm 80 percent but that's because I'm not doing anything like playing in the field," he said. "When I test it, I hope my knee feels better than I think. I think it's 85 percent. Maybe when I test it, it's 100 percent."

Oh.

When I read that, my brain processed: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah," he said. "Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah blah, it's 100 percent."  So, there you have it.  All better.

That was close.

Up next: Flipping out about Aramis Ramirez's shoulder.

Getting to Know: Tyler Colvin

Name: Tyler Colvin

Position: Outfield

Bats/Throws: Left/Left

Opening Day Age: 24

Uniform Number: 21

Do these two guys look at all alike?:

Apparently.

A man named Matthew Van Meter walked into a Utah dealership, said his name was Tyler Colvin of the Chicago Cubs, and expressed an interest in buying a $50,000 Dodge pickup truck.  He signed some papers as Tyler, took the keys and drove off after promising he would return to pay for the truck the next day.

The story is unclear how long it took for them to figure out that it was, in fact, not Tyler Colvin, but the authorities eventually caught up with Mr. Van Meter and he spent some time in jail.

He's lucky he didn't pretend to be Aaron Miles.  That surely would have gotten him killed.

Is Tyler Colvin going to hell?: If the folks at Oral Roberts University have anything to say about it, probably.

When Colvin was a member of the Clemson Tigers in 2006, he hit a dramatic walk-off grand slam that completed a come-from-behind victory against Oral Roberts.  ESPN was broadcasting the game, so you can check out the blast below:




Baseball-Reference.com's Most Similar Batter: None (too small a sample size)

Why We Might Like Him:

• We've been reading about him in Vineline for a few years and chances are good the current Cubs outfield isn't going to make us forget about his existence.
• He was a #1 draft pick of the Cubs in 2006 and it stands to reason a first round pick should eventually pan out, right?  Right?
• His first AB resulted in a sacrifice fly RBI, his 2nd was a single, and his 3rd was a walk.  The kid can do it all!

Why We Might Hate Him:

• He doesn't like to walk much and he strikes out a lot and we've seen too much of that shit before.
• Playing time given to Colvin will undoubtedly come at the expense of Sam Fuld and we f---ing LOVE Sam Fuld.

If You Rearrange the Letters in His Name You Get: "TORN IVY CELL" or "LILY CONVERT"

What the Cubs Blogosphere Thinks of Him:

• The Cub Reporter - "He has plus-speed and plus-power with the potential to hit 20+ HR, 30+ doubles, and 10+ triples. He has been working on being more patient at the plate over the past couple of seasons, and he actually takes a fairly normal number of walks and doesn’t strike out much versus RHP, but against lefties, he never walks, and he strikes out with much greater frequency."
• Another Cubs Blog - "Tyler Colvin has gained 25 pounds this offseason and with that increase I'm becoming a bit more optimistic about his future. Colvin was a very skinny man before this weight gain and did manage to slug over .500 last year at AA. He needs to be able to hit for some power at the big league level. He's never going to walk a lot."
• Cubby Blue - (2009)  "How about that Tyler Colvin catch?  Ho hum, I'm just a kid up here for the first time and well, take THAT Ryan Braun.  Like it was nothin'.  I feel for Reed and Sam, since Tyler's probably gonna get most of center field for the rest of the year.  But any talk about Tyler being the starting center fielder next year?  Lotta weird stuff's gotta happen before I can think like that."

Getting to Know: Esmailin Caridad

Name: Esmailin Caridad

Position: Relief Pitcher

Bats/Throws: Right/Right

Opening Day Age: 26

Uniform Number: 33

What did he do to fall off the radar as a top prospect for the Cubs?: Nothing at the major league level, but he didn't put up world busting numbers in Iowa either.

In 2009, he was rated as the Cubs' #11 prospect by Scout.com and #15 by Minor League Ball.  Arizona Phil had him ranked #10 at The Cub Reporter.  This year, he doesn't make Phil's top 15 and I don't see him on any other lists either.

Last year, he went to AAA and his ERA jumped a run to 4.17 and he posted a WHIP of 1.405.  But the injuries on the Cubs' major league staff and the lack of a pennant race to push the veterans back on the field got him a call-up and he appeared in 14 games out of the bullpen for the big club.

In that role, he posted a 1.40 ERA and a WHIP of .931.  He allowed 2 runs in his first appearance, a five and a third inning outing in relief of Tom Gorzelanny getting shelled in Colorado.  He gave up one more run the rest of the year including an 11 game, 12 inning scoreless streak to close out the season.

Not too bad.  You can check out more analysis of Caridad's pitching here by Harry Pavlidis on Cubs f/x.com.

Was he ever on a team named for a hardy freshwater fish?: Yes.

Caridad played briefly with the Hiroshima Carp in Japan and was a teammate of Kosuke Fukudome in 2007.  So there is still a chance that a free agent signed from the Hiroshima Carp will end up being useful for the Cubs.  Probably not the one we had originally hoped.

Baseball-Reference.com's Most Similar Pitcher: None (too small a sample size)

Why We Might Like Him:

• It's hard not to like someone with a name like Esmailin Caridad.
• He looked pretty good out of the bullpen at the end of last year.

Why We Might Hate Him:

• His fastball is not over-powering and he pitches up in the zone a lot, so he may be giving up some homerun balls.
• We are going to want him to be a strikeout pitcher and he isn't one.

If You Rearrange the Letters in His Name You Get: "SEND ACID AIRMAIL" and forbiddingly "SEMI CARDINAL AID"

What the Cubs Blogosphere Thinks of Him:

• The Cub Reporter - (from last year) "Caridad is 25 years old and he's only 5'10, so there may not be much more there than what's there right now. But from what I've seen of him, he will be pitching in the big league within a year or so. He has a full array of pitches, with a solid fastball, curve, and change-up."
• Cubs f/x - "His stuff is not hard to figure out. Labeling his breaking ball is rather subjective. Caridad's bread-and-butter is 93-95 mph fastball. He also employs a sinker, thrown more to lefties, and the aforementioned slider. The slider is really the out pitch to lefties, but will be used early in counts against righties."
• Cubshub - "Commonly, someone with Esmailan’s size and throws as hard as he does with not an ideal delivery, has had injuries to their shoulder girdle at this point in their career or is a severe risk. Not Caridad though, and most scouts put that on being raised through the Japanese system. In Japan, more focus is placed on building arm strength, throwing more pitches, and setting up counts with their secondary rather than their fastball. While in the States, a big emphasis is placed on revamping youngster’s deliveries, fastball velocity, establishing the fastball and going for the strikeout rather than going deep into games, establishing secondary pitches, and locating pitches. Esmailin has what many scouts and analysts call a rubber arm, in fact he’s often more effective on shorter rest than long breaks. Caridad doesn’t concentrate on striking out the hitter but rather letting the hitter get himself out."

Bud Doesn't Want the Cubs to Have Nice Things

I expect Jerry Reinsdorf to be a hypocritical dick.  Afterall, it's been 22 years since he threatened to move the White Sox to St. Petersburg in order to force the state to come up with public money to pay for his new Comiskey Park.  Hardly anyone even remembers that he even went so far as to have St. Petersburg build a domed stadium for the Sox that was left to house exciting (and surely lucrative) monster truck rallies and other nonsense for years until the Tampa area got their own team.  He always cried a little as he wrote out checks to Michael Jordan that were well under market value and he practically destroyed baseball out of greed in 1994.  Of course he's against having a "Cubs Tax" tacked onto his teams' spring training tickets. I would expect nothing less from him.

I expect the owners of the other teams training in Arizona to be similarly irked about it and say so.  Nevermind that they would sell far fewer tickets per year if the Cubs were training across the country.  It is natural to not like having a tax levied on your product when you had no say in the matter.  We started a whole new country on that very idea.

I even expect Bud Selig to be a mealy-mouthed weasel in the hours in which he is awake, but he has somehow managed to surprise me with his latest back-tracking on where the Cubs train in the future,

If you remember, the Ricketts had hardly finished signing the documents completing the transfer from the Tribune when they made sounds about how they wanted to move the Cubs Spring Training facility to Naples, Florida.  They had a pretty sweet deal in the works that would have allowed them to create and profit from a mini-Wrigleyville while the team got in shape at a state-of-the-art training facility.  Cubs fans, a group that doesn't like change much when it comes to playing night games, having games televised on higher-revenue cable channels, putting advertising somewhere in Wrigley, or anything that would make it easier to win a World Series, were upset about it.

At the Cubs Convention, it was rare to have someone dressed in a Theriot jersey approach a microphone and not somehow work the Cubs staying in Mesa into their question: "Um... Lou?  Do you think that Starlin Castro will be able to perform well enough in spring training in MESA, ARIZONA to move Theriot to second base?"

"Mr. Ricketts, I have a concern about ticket prices because since they keep going up, I find it harder to be able to afford a vacation to MESA, ARIZONA to see the Cubbies stretch on the outfield grass during Spring Training."

"This question is for Jeff Samardzija.  How do you keep your flowing locks so shiny and bouncy?  Is it something they have in the water in MESA, ARIZONA WHERE THE CUBS SHOULD ALWAYS TRAIN FOREVER AND EVER SO BE IT?"

"MESA Woo! ARIZONA Woo! MESA Woo! ARIZONA Woo!"

The days looked dark as the Ricketts appeared ready to yank out our still-beating hearts and whack them off of practice tees in Naples.  Then, when it seemed like there was no hope at all, a knight in shining armor and a red necktie came to our rescue: Bud Selig said it was his preference that the Cubs would stay in MESA, ARIZONA!!!  Oh happy day!

Cubs fans rejoiced!  Nothing was changing!  We can go to the same restaurants and stay in the same hotels we have every year!  "Bud is great!  Gave us the chocolate cake status quo!"

Now Bud doesn't want the money to be raised by adding a dollar or two to ticket prices of other teams training in Arizona.  How exactly did he think Mesa would come up with the money to able to afford the Cubs staying in Arizona otherwise?  I've been to Mesa.  That town isn't raising $84 million any other way.  Scottsdale might be able to figure out a way to tax the hell out of their upper-class population and Tempe could probably whore out the ASU co-eds to raise the money, but Mesa can not.  The money almost had to come from the fans that flock from all over the country to see spring training in Arizona.

Maybe Selig wants the Cubs to keep training in their dumpy facilities because keeping the Cubs from winning the World Series is good for the game of baseball.  If the Cubs reach the top of the mountain, the baseball story loses its tragic hero.  As the Baseball Gods themselves once told me, nothing beats a good Will They/Won't They storyline to really keep people interested. I can't think of any other reason why Selig would practically force the Ricketts to stay in Arizona and then try to prevent them from completing the monetary side of the deal that would make it possible.

It makes less sense than having home field advantage in the World Series decided by an exhibition game played by winners of a popularity contest.