Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Unemployment Lines Getting a Little Longer

I know that President Obama would like us to believe that the economy is turning around and that unemployment should start coming down soon, but the line at the unemployment office got a little longer yesterday, and looks to get even longer today.

The first pink slip of the day on Monday was probably drawn up when Notre Dame lost to Navy earlier this year, with an extra exclamation point added to "YOU'RE FIRED!" with each subsequent loss to Pittsburgh, Connecticut, and Stanford.  So today it was official and Charlie Weis had to slink away from South Bend with nothing but 18 million dollar bills he can probably eat or burn for fuel to get him through the long winter.  Poor bastard.

The second sudden job opening was a bit more of a surprise, and if possible, met with more joy than the Weis ouster.  Chip "Thank God My Last Name is" Caray was told by TBS that his services would no longer be needed and that they would be going in a new direction.  I used my Bullshit Spin Decoder Ring and translated that to mean that of all the things wrong with the TBS baseball broadcasts, Chip and his over-excited and often incorrect descriptions of the games were the worst part and most in need of drastic overhaul.

Andy over at Desipio has a theory that Chip would be perfect for St. Louis Cardinal baseball.  Personally, I think he has a great future doing play-by-play of hardcore gay and lesbian porn.  "Fisted!!"  Of course, he would probably still get things wrong: "Strapped on and buckled!  Here comes the threesome... just watching!  Wow those things look quite real!  Huh?  She's a what?  What the hell is a tranny?" 

On another only slightly more tasteful note, another college football coach who had a bit more success than Weis, will announce his "retirement" from Florida State.  I went reaching for my Decoder Ring again, but apparently ESPN's Mark Schlabach also has one and reports that,

According to sources, Bowden was given two options: return to FSU in 2010 as an ambassador to the program, in which he would have little input in the day-to-day operations of the program, or retire after the Seminoles' upcoming bowl game.

Bowden accumulated 388 wins at Florida State, raising the total number of FSU football victories in their entire history to 389, I believe.  The loyalty by the FSU boosters to a man that oversaw a team that had fourteen straight Top 5 finishes and who had exactly one losing season out of 34 (his first on the job with an inherited disaster of a team) is staggering.  I HATED Florida State in the 90s.  HATED them.  But, damn they were good, and Bowden deserved to leave the team on his own terms.

Meanwhile, Milton Bradley and Aaron Miles still have jobs.  Sometimes life just isn't fair.


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