Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Why Everyone Will Soon Hate Jay Cutler

Fantasy Football season is upon us and I will be juggling three teams over the course of the year. Two of them are free leagues done for fun, and one is a money league with a fairly decent investment of money that involves a trophy and everything.

In my two free leagues, I wound up with Aaron Rodgers as my quarterback, taken in the 5th round of each draft. In one of them, I have Matt Ryan as the backup and in the other, I took a shot on Favre in something like the 15th round. I'm feeling OK about my depth heading into the season.

Of course, in my money league, Aaron Rodgers was not available (keeper league), and the quarterbacks were disappearing off the draft board before I felt they should go, so I bulked up on awesome running backs and receivers. As the 8th round approached, Donovan McNabb and Jay Cutler remained on the board, so I hoped I could snag one and then grab the other when it snaked back to me in the 9th. Unfortunately, McNabb got taken two picks before me, so I reluctantly took Cutler with my pick.

I was reluctant to take Cutler because I HATE having Bears players on my fantasy teams. Normally, this is not a problem since hardly any Bears players have been very significant in the fantasy world. Especially Bears quarterbacks. I think the last fantasy relevant quarterback was that one year when Jim Miller threw for a million yards before the league figured out that lining four wide receivers up on one side meant that Crowton was calling for a wide receiver screen.

So now I'm looking at a fantasy squad with a shallow bench, so I have no backup QB at the moment. My fantasy season is riding on Jay Cutler. This is so not good.

The Curse of my Fantasy Team tends to be stronger than the Madden Curse, Sports Illustrated Curse, Curse of the Billy Goat, and Curse of Tutankhamen combined. I feel bad for Cutler because this should be a nice fresh start in a city that will be comparing him to Neckbeard and Rex the Wonderbear instead of John freakin' Elway. No receivers or not, this should be a better situation for him.

Or so one would think before the poor bastard ended up on my fantasy team. I ruined Marvin Harrison's durability by taking him a couple of years ago as my #1 receiver. Lawrence Maroney would probably have been a pretty good running back if not for me. Jeremy Shockey wouldn't have been run out of New York and Shawn Alexander would probably still have a job somewhere.

So, Bears fans, I apologize in advance and I will be working to find another quarterback I can ruin instead of Cutler as soon as the season starts.

PS - I had nothing to do with Kevin Gregg, Carlos Marmol, Alfonso Soriano, or Geovany Soto sucking ass this year. I did trade for Milton Bradley, but that was in July, so his start wasn't my fault.


Arnold said...

Football hasn't been the same since Roger Staubuck retired.

Augie said...

Stop playing fantasy football. You are a menace.

SixRowBrewCo said...

Maybe if the Cubs season hadn't ended prematurely, I wouldn't have been bored enough to join 3 leagues. I will find some way to shift blame onto Aaron Miles.

Kimmy said...

I dropped Cutler in my autodraft league. Just because I bleed Cubbie Blue does not make me an idiot Bears fan.

Augie said...

So, you are destroying our football dreams because you are bored. I am sorry that just does not cut it.

SixRowBrewCo said...

I haven't destroyed anything yet. I'm just saying that we should hold off on the Cutler statue for now.

Augie said...

Of course, you realize that I blame you.

SixRowBrewCo said...

I blame myself. Of course, I also own Rodgers in 2 leagues, so I'll be doing my part to sabotage the Packers as well.

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