Monday, November 23, 2009

Cubs Hire Someone Else to Convince Us to Give Them More Money

I was wondering why I haven't received the annual letter from the Cubs that carefully explains why I should be happy with the team that excels at tearing the hearts out of its fans' chests and that I should hurry up and write them a check right f---ing now.

But they have apparently been holding the letter back so that it could be crafted to fit into the philosophy of their new executive vice president and chief sales and marketing officer, or EVPACSAMO for short.  Wally Hayward assumes his new position fresh off his work with the rousing success that was Chicago's 2016 Olympic bid.  At least he already understands the concept of raising everyone's hopes and then crushing them before they even know what is going on.  He should fit right in with the Cubs.

My main goal for Wally is to get the fat guy in the office to say "thank you" when I drop off my check for whatever ridiculous amount they'll be charging me this year to see the same team as last year, only older.  Good luck with that, Wally.  That guy is a dick.


wpbc said...

get anyone in that ticket office to say the words 'thank you' would be a victory. of all the teams i have dealt with for tickets through the years, including most of the east coast ones, i have never dealt with a staff as rude as the cubs. top to bottom. if wally can change that, i'll be happy.

Aisle 424 said...

It would be good if he could also find those additional streams of revenue so that they can keep the ticket prices beneath those of the East Coast teams that occasionally win the World Series.

Schultzy said...

Wally, whys you hate me kitty?

Aisle 424 said...

No worry Schultzy, I haz a moneys for them.

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