I was wondering why I haven't received the annual letter from the Cubs that carefully explains why I should be happy with the team that excels at tearing the hearts out of its fans' chests and that I should hurry up and write them a check right f---ing now.
But they have apparently been holding the letter back so that it could be crafted to fit into the philosophy of their new executive vice president and chief sales and marketing officer, or EVPACSAMO for short. Wally Hayward assumes his new position fresh off his work with the rousing success that was Chicago's 2016 Olympic bid. At least he already understands the concept of raising everyone's hopes and then crushing them before they even know what is going on. He should fit right in with the Cubs.
My main goal for Wally is to get the fat guy in the office to say "thank you" when I drop off my check for whatever ridiculous amount they'll be charging me this year to see the same team as last year, only older. Good luck with that, Wally. That guy is a dick.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Check this out at Aisle 424: Cubs Hire Someone Else to Convince Us to Give Them More MoneyTweet this! Posted by SixRowBrewCo at 9:24 PM