Silver Lining of Failed Olympic Bid

Top Ten Good Things About

Chicago Not Getting the 2016 Olympics

10. Crane Kenney won't feel compelled to get a priest to bless the Olympic Stadium.

9.  White Sox fans won't need to learn how to say "You Suck" in any different languages.

8.  Our tax money can go back to going straight into local politician's pockets, as God intended.

7.  No need to train the cow to light the Olympic torch by kicking over a lantern.

6.  Won't have to listen to Mike North bitch about synchronized swimming being an Olympic event.

5.  City Council can focus on bringing Carnivale Festival to Chicago.

4.  Saves the embrassment of having the water events in Lake Michigan canceled due to elevated levels of fecal matter.

3.  Oprah will have to work harder to achieve her master plan of stopping all traffic in the city.

2.  Street vendors taking a bath on their "Ruck Fio" t-shirts.

1.  Nothing will distract from the Cubs' 108th consecutive year without a World Series.