Eeeny Meeny Miny Moe

The MLB playoffs are down to five teams remaining and I could really care less about any of them.  I have no clue who to pull for, so I'm going to list the pros and cons of rooting for each and see where I come out.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Pros: 

• Their fans have been waiting the longest for a World Series of the teams still remaining (Rockies didn't exist until 1993 and Dodgers last won in 1988). 
• The longer the Dodgers hang around, the more we will see shots of Alyssa Milano at the games. 
• I don't live near or know any Dodgers fans, so their celebrating will not bother me as much.
• Vin Scully should get to call another World Series while he's still up in the booth.

Cons: 

• We'll be seeing and hearing more of Tommy Lasorda than any reasonable human being can stand.
• It's hard to cheer for a team whose own fans leave the park by the 7th inning to beat traffic.
• In a perfect world, Manny would not win any more rings and blow out both knees, separate his shoulder, and get syphillis after running into the wall.

Philadelphia Phillies

Pros:

• Philadelphia fans actually do appreciate their teams' few successes and die a little with their failures, so I respect that.
• The Phillies' core is pretty much homegrown with Utley, Howard, Victorino, Hamels, and Rollins providing the bulk of the star power, so its good to see that being rewarded.
• My sister's boyfirend is a Phillies fan, so that's nice for him.

Cons:

• They won last year.  I don't like repeats except when it comes to my own teams.
• I'm still a bit weary from listening to how Philadelphia FINALLY broke through to win a championship, when I was old enough to remember the 1980 World Series.

Colorado Rockies

Pros:

• The Rockies have never won a World Series.
• Denver seems like a nice enough city.
• They haven't been around long enough nor done anything to the Cubs to warrant me hating them yet.

Cons:

• I can't stomach yet another team that was born in my lifetime winning a World Series before the Cubs.  It's bad enough that the Marlins have won two already, and even the Rays have already gotten there.
• I don't like anything that gives Don Baylor even a little bit of pleasure.
• Don't want to see any stupid people (I'm looking at you, Stone) who think the Cubs could have won the World Series if they hadn't traded Marquis.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Pros:

• They seem like a pretty classy organization and a great role model for how I'd like to see the Cubs treat their fans.
• No one outside of Anaheim seems to care that much about them, so they could probably use a little positive mojo.
• It will give me plenty of opportunities to say "Chone" like it rhymes with "phone" so that I can be entertained by people who feel inclined to correct me.

Cons:

• The Angels have brought us abominations such as Thunder Stix and the Rally Monkey, which should be considered capital crimes.
• A deeper run by the Angels will give people like Phil Rogers more opportunities to use their hindsight to criticize not signing Bobby Abreu for the seven billionth time.
• Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim is just a stupid name.

New York Yankees

Pros:

• My grandpa and my uncles are all Yankee fans, so they would be happy.
• I like Joe Girardi.
• Chances are good that the world will not actually end if the Yankees win again.

Cons:

• Alex Rodriguez would officially have everything you could possibly want in life as a reward for being a giant two-faced douchebag.
• Endless features with Yankee players talking about how proud they were to be able to wear the pinstripes as if they wouldn't have played in teal mini-skirts if someone had given them more money to do so.
• They're the f---ing YANKEES.

When it comes down to it, I'll probably find myself rooting for the Dodgers.  They're National League, they just took down the Cardinals, and it would be cool to hear Vin Scully call one more World Series.  The problem with that is that I would want the Dodgers to take down the Yankees, which means the Yankees have to get there.  I would love to see Joe Torre beat down the team that didn't think he was worth paying anymore.  Plus, it would get Don Mattingly a ring, which the Yankees could never get while he was a player or a coach in the dugout (they won a few when he was a special instructor in Spring Training).

If it is Dodgers against the Angels, I might have my tendency to root for the underdog (no matter who is actually favored, the Angels will always be the underdog in L.A.) win out over any temporary allegiance I may have for the Dodgers.

But for now, I'll go with the Dodgers.  Go Dodgers!  I guess.