Top Ten Things Least Likely to be Heard in the Second Half

I was going to provide some links to Cubs blogs where you can see some mid-season grades being handed out by other writers, reviews of overall team performance, and suggestions for the second half. But Ace at Bleacher Nation beat me to it, so I'll just link to his post instead, so you can see what others have done.

Since I have been beaten to the punch all the way around, I will continue my grand tradition of swimming against the stream and provide the:

Top Ten Things Least Likely to be Heard in the Second Half

10. "Theriot ranging into the hole, dives, comes up throwing, and GOT HIM at first!"

9. "That's an infield hit for Geovany Soto!"

8. "Soriano at the plate, the catcher gives the sign, he calls for a fastball middle-in..."

7. "Coming into the game at pitcher and batting ninth, David Patton!"

6. "I miss Neal Cotts."

5. "The Cubs will be lowering ticket prices next year as an apology to fans for such a disappointing season."

4. "Halladay will arrive to join the team in time to start against the Nationals on Friday."

3. "Isn't that Andy Dolan and David Kaplan sitting together in the bleachers?"

2. "Ted Lilly is expected to miss the next start or two with a blister on his finger."

1. "...and the Chevrolet Player of the Game is: Aaron Miles."