F*** It, Here's Some Rocketman Videos

Well, that first game in Philadelphia was the exact opposite of how we all hoped it would go. But deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you knew the Cubs were going to stink it up.

There wasn't much good to say about the game, but here it goes:

• Despite knowing the game was lost after five batters, and being absolutely pummeled in all aspects of the game, it still only counts as one loss.
• Jeff Stevens came into a completely non-pressure situation and recorded two perfect innings, so he has already beaten expectations of those who believe Mark DeRosa was traded for absolutely nothing. (DeRosa recorded his first hits as a Cardinal last night. He is now 2 for 17 since being acquired by St. Louis.)
• Aaron Heilman didn't walk anyone in his inning of work. He didn't allow a hit either, but I thought the not walking anyone was more impressive for him.
• Ryan Theriot actually had some very nice at-bats, driving in the only Cubs run, and walking two other times.
• Alfonso Soriano had three hits, though I don't think any of them were hit particularly hard.
• The Cubs telecast cut out with technical difficulties in the 9th inning so I only had to watch eight innings of crap instead of the full nine.

The bad things were too numerous to list and I don't want to get into it because I've already had kind of a hard day at work. Instead, I will commemorate both the 40th anniversary of the Moon landing (which was also last night) and the Elton John/Billy Joel concert at Wrigley this evening with a video of Elton singing "Rocketman":

As a bonus, here is William Shatner's version from 1978:



Also, Stewie Griffin's rendition of William Shatner's rendition:



In addition, here is a How-To Video to teach you how to play "Rocketman" so you can work on your own rendition:



Lastly, as a bonus and because I have to work in Billy Joel somehow, here is Billy and Elton singing Piano Man: