Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ryne Sandberg is a Quitter and a Liar

Yesterday, I wondered what an attack ad aimed at Mike Quade would look like, but I was thinking that if this really were like politics, something like that could never be aired without appropriate retribution. So here is how I imagine a response from the Quade camp aimed at Ryne Sandberg would go:


Voiceover:  Ryne Sandberg likes to talk about doing things the "right way"...

Voiceover: ...but since when is quitting on your teammates and the fans considered doing things the "right" way? 

"On the morning of June 11, 1994,
Ryne woke up and decided to quit baseball."

Voiceover: He claimed he was quitting because the Cubs were terrible and he didn't enjoy coming to the ballpark anymore. He even profited off of his giving up.

"I quit because I didn't like my job anymore....
The truth is my personal situation had nothing to do
with why I announced my retirement from baseball."
- Ryne Sandberg, Second to Home, 1995

Voiceover: Later, when he returned to the game, he admitted it had all been a lie and that his personal life did, in fact, play a role in his initial retirement.  Says one Sandberg associate:

 "You're a public figure looking at going through a public divorce.
You hate what's going on with the team,
and there's trouble with your wife.
What do you do? It was easy for him..."

Voiceover: "It was easy for him." Easy to walk away when the going got tough.  Now he talks about playing the right way and teaching the young stars of the Cubs farm system to do as he did... like quitting and never diving for a ball.

Voiceover: Great example, indeed. Support Mike Quade. He doesn't lie. He doesn't quit
when things get tough. He doesn't associate himself with raging alcoholics.

Voiceover: Paid for by the People's Front of Cub Nation.


Gosh, now I don't know who to support.  Maybe I'll throw my support behind a third party candidate!

Go ahead! Throw your vote away!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha...


Seat 106 said...

Amen. Once a quitter, always a quitter. The Cubs have made enough accomodations for him over the years. Let him stay in DesMoines. If he is really such a hot managerial prospect, how come no other clubs are asking permission to interview him, for manager, coach, personnel director, bat boy or just about anything else?

Aisle 424 said...

I thought you'd be a fan of this ad, 106. I actually think the Mariners have shown some interest in Sandberg though. I don't know if that suddenly gives him credibility, but it is what it is.

I just like making hypothetical attack ads. I may have missed my calling.

Kimmy said...

And I thought I was the only one who didn't want RLYNO to come here. Can we give Seattle Ryno, and pick up ICHIRO..lol

Seat 106 said...

I just don't like guys who are bigger than the game. That's what Ryno became when he quit and then decided to come back.

Al Bolon said...

To err is human... how easy it is for us to forget. Who among us, has not done something they wish they hadn't? Though I never met Ryno... he used to be a neighbor of ours in Glenview; along with Rick Sutcliffe and Jodie Davis. I remember (1989) when our youngest son & his friends rang Ryno's doorbell for "tricks or treats". Ryno came to the door and spent 15 minutes with them... talking about baseball and stuff! He is a good man, and excellent role model! Both Ryno & Mike Quade will make excellent managers in Chicago or perhaps somewhere else!

Aisle 424 said...

I just want to clarify that the two attack ads on Mike Quade and Ryne Sandberg were meant as satire. I just wanted to hypothetically create a situation where the managerial competition was treated the same way politicians treat elections - because I think it is funny.

I do not share the opinions expressed in the fictional attack ads I designed. Ryne Sandberg was one of my favorite players, and I don't blame him from needing some time off from a team that had a couple of guys that were allegedly getting into his first wife's pants.

I also have no problems with Mike Quade. He seems to have motivated the team to go out and compete in a lost dismal season, which is no small feat. His record is probably meaningless, but it does show the players play for him and have bought in to whatever he is telling them (for now).

Good luck to both candidates.

Anonymous said...

I think this article is stupid.

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