Monday, September 20, 2010

Colvin Stabbed, Wrigleyville Almost Blown Up During Quade Era

Elections are drawing nearer so we are seeing more of the fun attack ads on television with the really ominous voice-overs:

(NOTE: The political message in the video above does not reflect the attitude or opinions of Aisle 424)

Oh my God!  The world would surely end if Senator Bill Brady were elected.  Going by that ad alone, it seems the chances are excellent that Bill Brady would show up at a public school dressed as Rambo and blow the cafeteria to kingdom come.

I love ads like this.  They are endlessly entertaining and I think that the candidates for the Cubs' managerial position should start running similar ads to get the public support behind them.

You have to figure that Ryne Sandberg can't be all that comfortable as the presumptive front-runner anymore after Mike Quade has gone 17-7 to start out his managerial stint with the Cubs.  He is being discussed in association with Charlie Grimm, the last Cubs manager to take the Cubs to the World Series.  He has got some serious momentum at the moment.

If I were in the Sandberg camp, I'd want to start putting together some attcak ads to quell the Quade tsunami of support.  Think about it, what if you saw an ad like this during the ballgame (I don't have the time or the expertise to edit videos, so I'll just have to crudely storyboard it):


Voiceover: Mike Quade will tell you that everything is going great since he pushed Lou Piniella out of the Cubs manager position.

Voiceover: He'll point to his record and claim he has the ear of the players.

Voiceover: But he won't tell you that stabbings of his players are up infinity percent over last year.  In fact, there have been more stabbings of Cubs players under Quade than under any other manager in the history of the Chicago Cubs.

"Cubs rookie Tyler Colvin is at a Miami hospital, being treated for a
puncture wound to the left side of his chest..."

Voiceover: He also won't tell you that thousands were nearly killed when a terrorist tried to blow up the Wrigleyville institution known as "Sluggers" under his watch.

"Sami Samir Hassoun... was arrested as he placed a backpack
containing what he thought were high-explosives
in a trash can in front of Sluggers on Clark Street..."

Voiceover: What else is Quade not telling us?  Can you trust your children going to a Cubs game with a man with a potential drinking problem in charge?

Voiceover: Support Ryne Sandberg for Cubs' manager. He would never allow his players to be stabbed or Wrigleyville to be blown up.

Voiceover: Paid for by Citizens in Favor of Playing the Right Way.

That would be all kinds of entertaining.  Certainly more entertaining than listening to Dave Otto.


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