Friday, September 10, 2010

Brewers Attempt at Comedy is Funny, But Not Ha Ha Funny

Oh, meaningless baseball and the hijinx that come along with it.  Apparently,the Brewers have decided to kick off the crapfest between their team and the Cubs by circulating a fake press release around the press box at Miller Park talking about a fictional book supposedly authored by Jim Hendry.

According to Paul Sullivan:

The release said: "Read in Jim Hendry's own words how the Chicago Cubs managed to finish near the bottom of the National League Central; Division with the highest payroll in the National League."

It also said the chapters included:

"Why I signed Milton Bradley!"

"Why I released Casey McGehee only to see him hit 20 home runs and drive in nearly 100 runs for a division rival!"

"Why I hired former Pittsburgh general manager Dave Littlefield, the man who helped make the Pirates what they are today, as my special assistant!"

"How I botched the recall of Micah Hoffpauir from our minor league team in Iow by losing track of the number of days that he was in the minors!"

"Why I signed players to long-term contracts with limited trade options!"

The Brewers are bad at baseball and they are apparently also bad at humor.  It's apparent that whoever is responsible for writing this fake book has never actually read a real one.  What book has chapter titles that are 29 words long?  This would have been too hard?: "Hiring the Genius Behind the Pittsburgh Pirates."

Also, when you have to explain the joke within the telling of the joke: it isn't a funny joke.

Simply adding exclamation points to the ends of every joke don't make them funnier than leaving them off!  (See?)
I will give them that Casey McGehee is funny, but only because I've seen him try to field a ball.
And seriously, a recall of Micah Hoffpauir joke?  Really?  Someone put that down on paper, read it to themselves and chuckled?  If that joke were a Brewer it would be Jody Gerut.
I shouldn't be too hard on the Brewers though.  Afterall, I know it must be hard to find the funny when you have to live in Milwaukee and you are constantly in the presence of Captain Jagoff.


Mercurial Outfielder said...

I'm not entirely certain that Sullivan hasn't concocted this whole thing himself. This column is remarkably similar to his "Carlos Zambrano's Greatest Fits" column, and the creatively titled "Milton Bradley's Greatest Fits" column.

Aisle 424 said...

That would certainly explain the lack of humor.

EnricoPallazzo said...

"If that joke were a Brewer it would be Jody Gerut."

Well, shit, Tim. That's the first thing that's made me laugh out loud all day. And it's 11:17 pm. Thanks.

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