Monday, January 11, 2010

Mark McGwire Shocks the World with Steroid Admission

While we all gather our wits about us after the earth-shattering news that Mark McGwire used steroids, we should similarly brace ourselves for the:

Top Ten Other Things Mark McGwire Has Admitted To

10.  He is of Irish ancestry.

9.  He is Sammy Sosa's skin cream supplier.

8.  The carpet doesn't match the drapes, if you know what I mean.

7.  Wanted the lead role in Tooth Fairy, but that bitch Julie Andrews is apparently a Roger Maris fan.

6.  Also believes that Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time, but didn't want to be such a dick about it.

5.  Tony LaRussa can drink him under the table.

4.  He always cries at the end of Armageddon.

3.  He prefers Jay Leno over Conan.

2.  He recently updated his Facebook status to "Pink"

1.  Deep down he doesn't believe he should get into the Hall of Fame either.


Kanye said...

Ima let you finish, but Clay Aiken had the most obvious admission of all time!

Charley said...

I believe Mark also admitted that size really doesn't matter or at least not until the mid 90s.

Kimmy said...

Tim, that was a great list. I was laughing so hard over number 8. By the time I got to number 2 I had tears running down my face.

You know I am a girl that loves sports, but I hate whiny bast*rds that act like little girls.

I could hear Terrell Owens cry, 'That's my Quarterback man' as well as Tom Hanks saying 'There's no crying in baseball.'

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