Monday, June 1, 2009

Sorry, Pete...

I knew the time would eventually come where I would need to retract something posted on this blog. My girlfriend will be the first witness to the fact that I am not terribly bright and that my own foggy-headed rush to post something in a timely manner would eventually lead to a gross misrepresentation of the facts.

My earlier post about the Secret Weapon I had received as a gift for Christmas turns out to contain many accurate facts and correctly spelled words. For instance, there is, in fact, a holiday called Christmas. Beyond that, the story goes a bit off the rails.

Tom, who gave me the hat, didn't want to post a public reply, because he is a nice man and didn't want to embarass me. However, if and when I publicly screw up, I should be prepared to have that error pointed out publicly to the twelve people that read this blog. So, I will allow Tom to correct me in my factual errors:

"I enjoyed the story about the hat. Me, the hat, Dad, all immortalized on the internet. Finally, I'd say. BUT, now comes the awkward part, stemming either from the fact that I am not a clear talker, or on Christmas day all minds are mush and plum pudding and incapable of effective communication.

I'm surprised you have not been haunted yet, or maybe you have. My dad I'm sure is turning in his grave to think that anyone might think, even in confusion, that he was a Cubs fan. He was not hostile toward the Cubs, but he was an avid Cardinals Man. The hat belonged to his brother, Ed, who, through some inexplicable genetic mix-up, was a Cubs fan. He gave the hat to my dad as a joke, and Pete kept it in a safe place, but out of sight, out of respect for his elder brother. But he was assuredly not a Cubs fan. Still, because he clearly understood the psychosis of sports fanaticism, he would have wanted someone dear to our family (you) to have the hat if it gave him pleasure ... and hope."

So, there you have it. I accused a Cardinals fan of being a Cubs fan. There aren't many more heinous crimes that could be committed against a Cardinals fan. I can only apologize and hope that Grandpa Pete can indeed go back to resting peacefully, knowing that no one thinks he is a Cubs fan, and that one particular Cubs fan is an idiot.

I am expecting a job offer from ESPN anytime now.


Ann-Marie said...


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