Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Bad

I never really understood how people like Palestinians and Jews could carry on a hatred of one another for so long.  Doesn't time eventually numb the rage?  How is it possible that any group of people could go on hating another group of people (and vice versa) for generations with no end in sight?

I used to think those people had to be the craziest-ass lunatics on the face of the earth.  I know now that people who strap bombs to themselves and have their children carry the loaded AK-47 so that they can carry the shoulder-mounted missile launcher themselves on their trip to the grocery store, are perfectly sane when compared to the Cubs blogosphere.

The hatred flowing into the interwebs from the fingers of Cubs fans that is aimed at other Cubs fans is depressing the shit out of me.  We should not be hating each other.  We should be united together in a hatred of the St. Louis Drunk Drivers.  We should be hating that shiny-shirt douchebag, Ryan Braun.  We should be hating Dusty Baker, scourge of young pitchers' arms.  We should be hating Aaron Miles.

Sure, some Cubs fans think that RBIs and Wins are useful stats in evaluating a players' value.  Some Cubs fans make you wonder if they wouldn't flush a crap down the toilet if someone could convince them it had a high enough WAR.  Some Cubs fans ask stupid-ass questions at the Cubs Convention.  Some still can't get over Mark DeRosa being gone.  Some won't shut the hell up on Twitter during games. You get my point.

We are all insane.  We cheer for a team that hasn't won anything of significance since before the Titanic was built and it is causing us to lose our minds.  In reality, the most balanced and reasoned Cubs fan is far more bat-shit crazy than Ryan Freel with the midget Farney living in his head.

Clearly, things have been said in the last couple of days (and years apparently) that can not be unsaid because there they all are on archived posts of blogs with a hell of a lot more readers than this one.  The only thing that can be done is to go forward with a sense of forgiveness and move the fuck on.

I'll start.

I'm sorry, Paul Sullivan.  I never should have implied to my 700 spambot followers that you are an idiot.  It shouldn't have mattered whether your tweet was meant as a personal tweet or a representation of your job as a beat reporter.  Two wrongs do not make a right and I should not have reacted so childishly to being blocked from a twitter feed.  I thought it was funny, but I now realize that it was wrong to call you an asshole for the sake of entertainment.

I'm sorry, Bad Kermit.  I'm sorry you have been forced to change Paul's bedpan as he has been incapacitated by the sharpness of my wit.  At least I assume that is why you reacted as strongly as you did.  Whatever the reason, I attacked one of your friends and drew your ire and that has resulted in other Cubs bloggers attacking you and calling you some nasty names.  I'll buy you a beer sometime and then we can be friends.  Oh hell, pizza too.

Then there are the bystanders that jumped in front of bullets or spoke out in support of my right to call Paul an asshole.  I'm sorry this incident has drawn so much fire on you and that old wounds have been re-opened because of a stupid post.

Lastly, I'm sorry to all the companies in this struggling economy that lost far too much productivity over a tweet.  I'm hoping this does not plunge us back into a recession, or God forbid, a world war.

I'd apologize to President Obama too, but you know what? He's a Sox fan, so fuck that.

I'm not telling anyone how to be a good Cubs fan or how to run your blogs or twitter accounts.  I am BEGGING you to just stop hating each other.

Go Cubs.

11 comments:

JenJen said...

I don't understand all the hatred and nastiness that I see over a game. Shoot, I don't even hate the Cardinals. Their fans can be a pain in the ass, but that just makes it all the more fun to laugh at them when incidents like last year's premature fireworks celebration occur.

Baseball is supposed to be fun-there are a lot of jerks in sports, and always will be. And that includes sportswriters. Don't let them ruin something that should be enjoyable. Even when the Cubs inevitably blow it by the end of the season. :)

Duey23 said...

Wow, this was almost like your own version of the Bruce Levine-Ed Lynch incident. "Without you, I don't have a job"??!!! When beat writers lose perspective.

Aisle 424 said...

JenJen, You. Don't. Hate. The Cardinals? You are dead to me.

Duey, Ed Lynch was worse than Hitler.

Feel the love everyone.

JenJen said...

Will hating their facial hair count?

Aisle 424 said...

Right, you're in.

I totally forgot about their porn 'staches. I hate them all so much.

Doc Blume said...

Is it still ok to hate Al Yellon?

Aisle 424 said...

I don't know if they are part of the Cubs blogosphere anymore. They are watching paint dry over there this week. Seriously.

EnricoPallazzo said...

This season can't start soon enough...

Aisle 424 said...

It's Enrico Pallazzo! Even Spring Training would be an improvement. At least it would be SOMETHING.

John Niederkorn said...

I've always wondered why Cubs' fans are so hard on each other? Sadly, we are no closer to the answer.

However, I will join you in you're hatred for, Cardinal fans(yuck), Aaron Miles(wuss) and now, newly inducted to the Jag-Off Hall of Fame: Milton Bradley...

Go Cubs!

thejoshbaker said...

"I thought it was funny, but I now realize that it was wrong to call you an asshole for the sake of entertainment."

It was funny. I'd even go as far as to say it was mid-level hilarity.

And really, what else has there been to talk about as a Cubs fan recently? This killed a good week of time. I say keep up the good work.

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