I just saw the news that Nick Adenhart, a rookie pitcher for the California Angels, was killed in a hit-and-run car accident early this morning.
"The crash took place only hours after the 22-year-old pitcher played in last night's Angels game.
Police say the driver of a minivan ran a red light in Fullerton and struck two cars, killing three people in a Mitsubishi and critically injuring a passenger.
Police Lt. Craig Brower says the minivan driver fled the crash scene and was captured a short time later. The driver was arrested and booked for investigation of felony hit-and-run.
Police say the van ran the red light early Thursday and struck the gray Mitsubishi, which then slammed into a light pole. Two people in the Mitsubishi died instantly, and a third died at a hospital a short time later.
A fourth occupant was in critical condition at UC Irvine Medical Center in Orange."
TMZ.com was running the story before most news outlets and included a line that I have not seen in any other stories:
"We're told one of the other men killed in the crash was also affiliated with the Angels organization."
(UPDATE: According to CNN/SI, the Angels have stated that no other members of the organization were involved in the crash.)
Coupled with the news that a 27-year old man was killed after a fight at the Angels Opening Day game, the organization has to be absolutely reeling.
I can't imagine a member of the Angels trying to stay focused and playing baseball after such a tragic turn of events darkened what should have been a time of hope and optimism.
I remember the feelings of shock and grief exhibited in the ballpark the day that Darryl Kile was found dead in his hotel room before a Cubs/Cardinals game in 2002. The Cardinals were shattered and the Cubs were equally shaken. Joe Girardi could barely deliver the brief statement through his tears to the hushed stadium that the game would be postponed due to a "tragedy in the Cardinal family."
Baseball teams have a bond that can be as strong, or even stronger than family ties. Losing a teammate like this has to feel like losing a brother.
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone associated with the victims' families, whether they are bound by blood or baseball.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Where Have You Gone, Henry Blanco? Cubs Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes to You
Everybody who had Milton Bradley or Rich Harden in the "First Cub to Miss a Start Due to Injury" Pool came up empty last night. Geovany Soto felt discomfort in his shoulder on a throw to second on a steal by Kaz Matsui. He will sit out the series finale in Houston for sure, and probably at least a couple more games after that.
"'I kind of over-exposed my shoulder a little bit,' Soto said. 'There was a little discomfort in my shoulder. I felt some weakness in it, and I felt I didn't have a shot if somebody else [tried to steal]. I need to keep up my exercises, and we'll see how it is in a couple days.'"
Cubs fans, always ready to roll with whatever obstacles that come up in a season, have started to react fairly predictably. Some people are already blaming the WBC for this turn of events. There are comments on message boards bemoaning the loss of Henry Blanco over the off-season.
Personally, I blame Len and Bob for awaking the baseball gods by pointing out during the broadcast that this was the first time since 1986 that the Cubs did not have someone on the disabled list to start the season. By the way, that team made it all the way to April 21 before Lee Smith went down.
Hopefully, and most likely, this is nothing more than the minor irritation that Soto is making it out to be. But as Cub fans, we usually have to deal with worst-case scenarios just so we are prepared and we don't kill ourselves when it turns out Soto is having season-ending surgery.
I wrote yesterday about how difficult a job Piniella and Hendry have in front of them in figuring out the Fukudome issue. If it does turn out that Soto is out for any significant period of time, it makes the Fukudome offensive blackout even more of an emergent problem.
Hardly any team has depth at catcher. It's just a luxury that most teams can't afford, so there is usually a precipitous drop-off in quality from the starting catcher to the back-up catcher. The Twins are without Joe Mauer and they have to turn to Mark Redmond. If something happens to Russell Martin in Los Angeles, the Dodgers will be seeing more of Brad Ausmus. In Atlanta, somebody named Clint Sammons is backing up Brian McCann until the great David Ross is healthy enough to join the team.
The only time that there isn't a huge dip in talent between starting and back-up catchers on a roster is when they suck equally. The Cubs managed to make it to the playoffs with a three-headed monster consisting of Scott Servais, Sandy Martinez, and Tyler Houston behind the plate in 1998, so if we can't agree that Koyie Hill can match Hank White's output, can we all at least get on board with the idea that he probably can't get much worse than Tyler Houston?
So the problem going forward is not so much that we now have a hole in our lineup at catcher. Most teams have a hole in their lineup at catcher, so that is nothing catastrophic.
The problem now becomes that we have TWO holes in the lineup because Fukudome is pretty much an automatic out at the moment. Couple that with the pitchers' spot and we have one third of our lineup as a non-factor offensively, with Alfonso Soriano sitting in the middle of the gaping hole and never ever seeing a fastball to hit as a result.
Jim, Lou - I just want to tell you both good luck, and we're all counting on you.
"'I kind of over-exposed my shoulder a little bit,' Soto said. 'There was a little discomfort in my shoulder. I felt some weakness in it, and I felt I didn't have a shot if somebody else [tried to steal]. I need to keep up my exercises, and we'll see how it is in a couple days.'"
Cubs fans, always ready to roll with whatever obstacles that come up in a season, have started to react fairly predictably. Some people are already blaming the WBC for this turn of events. There are comments on message boards bemoaning the loss of Henry Blanco over the off-season.
Personally, I blame Len and Bob for awaking the baseball gods by pointing out during the broadcast that this was the first time since 1986 that the Cubs did not have someone on the disabled list to start the season. By the way, that team made it all the way to April 21 before Lee Smith went down.
Hopefully, and most likely, this is nothing more than the minor irritation that Soto is making it out to be. But as Cub fans, we usually have to deal with worst-case scenarios just so we are prepared and we don't kill ourselves when it turns out Soto is having season-ending surgery.
I wrote yesterday about how difficult a job Piniella and Hendry have in front of them in figuring out the Fukudome issue. If it does turn out that Soto is out for any significant period of time, it makes the Fukudome offensive blackout even more of an emergent problem.
Hardly any team has depth at catcher. It's just a luxury that most teams can't afford, so there is usually a precipitous drop-off in quality from the starting catcher to the back-up catcher. The Twins are without Joe Mauer and they have to turn to Mark Redmond. If something happens to Russell Martin in Los Angeles, the Dodgers will be seeing more of Brad Ausmus. In Atlanta, somebody named Clint Sammons is backing up Brian McCann until the great David Ross is healthy enough to join the team.
The only time that there isn't a huge dip in talent between starting and back-up catchers on a roster is when they suck equally. The Cubs managed to make it to the playoffs with a three-headed monster consisting of Scott Servais, Sandy Martinez, and Tyler Houston behind the plate in 1998, so if we can't agree that Koyie Hill can match Hank White's output, can we all at least get on board with the idea that he probably can't get much worse than Tyler Houston?
So the problem going forward is not so much that we now have a hole in our lineup at catcher. Most teams have a hole in their lineup at catcher, so that is nothing catastrophic.
The problem now becomes that we have TWO holes in the lineup because Fukudome is pretty much an automatic out at the moment. Couple that with the pitchers' spot and we have one third of our lineup as a non-factor offensively, with Alfonso Soriano sitting in the middle of the gaping hole and never ever seeing a fastball to hit as a result.
Jim, Lou - I just want to tell you both good luck, and we're all counting on you.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Fukudome?
Most times in life, problems don't fix themselves. Occasionally you will get lucky and something works itself out, but usually the problem just gets worse and harder to fix.
Unfortunately, the problem of Kosuke Fukudome's inability to adjust back against a league that figured him out last May doesn't seem to be fixing itself. This is where Lou Piniella and Jim Hendry earn their money.
The best solution to this would be for Fukudome to start playing at a level that even comes close to the guy they thought they were getting last year. When the Cubs signed him, the positive comparisons abounded:
"Cubs assistant general manager Randy Bush has likened him to Steve Finley for his fluid style, and an anonymous National League talent evaluator calls him a 'poor man's Carlos Beltran.'
From everything that Chicago manager Lou Piniella hears, Fukudome is sort of an Ichiro Suzuki-Hideki Matsui hybrid. Like Ichiro, Fukudome is fleet afoot and has a strong throwing arm. Like Matsui, he's a power threat. Although his individual tools in each area aren't quite as pronounced as his two Japanese peers, he provides a more well-rounded blend than either."
Now, forget about Carlos Beltran and Ichiro, we would be thrilled to death if he pulled off numbers that could be likened to Mike Cameron. That's not the level of expectation you want from a guy who is due $38 million over the next three years.
The heat is getting turned up to give Reed Johnson more playing time over Fukudome, and some even having a preference for car-jumping Joey Gathright.
The Cubs won last night, so the fact that Fukudome had four basically useless at-bats can be glossed over, but I'll bet all the money I have in my pockets that the heat would be ten times worse today if the Cubs had lost that game.
So how long can Lou go with Fukudome in center field, and how long can he put him in such a crucial spot in the batting order when he is not producing, nor showing any signs of improvement?
From Hendry's vantage point, it is actually easier if Fukudome continues to suck, because then he at least knows he has a hole in his roster that needs immediate attention. Hendry is the guy that managed to get useful pieces in exchange for Todd Hundley, so some move is not out of the realm of possibility if he deems it necessary.
But what does Hendry do if Fukudome starts hitting again for a couple of weeks? Then what? Do we believe that everything is fixed and that he will continue as a viable hitter for the rest of the season? Or does Hendry take the opportunity to sell high on him with the belief that another god-awful slump can't be far away?
Let's face it, Lou has put Fukudome in the best possible spot in the lineup. His inclination to take pitches gives Soriano some running opportunities when he is on base, so he will see a higher number of fastballs. Even when Soriano isn't on base, teams aren't going to want to walk Fukudome in front of Lee, Bradley, and Ramirez, so again, he will see a high percentage of fastballs.
If Fukudome can't get it together in that environment, he simply isn't going to succeed at all at the major league level anymore. He has been given the batting order equivalent of the old Must See TV slot between "Seinfeld" and "ER." If "Caroline in the City" can get ratings, surely Fukudome can get an occasional hit.
So, would this hypothetical turn-around be a function of Fukudome's talent level, or a function of the role he is asked to play on this team? Is Fukudome more like "Friends," that got a jump-start in a sweet time slot, but was more than capable of carrying its viewers on its own merits? Or is he "Caroline in the City?" Worse yet, what if he is "The Single Guy?"
Jim, Lou - I just want to tell you both good luck, and we're all counting on you.
Unfortunately, the problem of Kosuke Fukudome's inability to adjust back against a league that figured him out last May doesn't seem to be fixing itself. This is where Lou Piniella and Jim Hendry earn their money.
The best solution to this would be for Fukudome to start playing at a level that even comes close to the guy they thought they were getting last year. When the Cubs signed him, the positive comparisons abounded:
"Cubs assistant general manager Randy Bush has likened him to Steve Finley for his fluid style, and an anonymous National League talent evaluator calls him a 'poor man's Carlos Beltran.'
From everything that Chicago manager Lou Piniella hears, Fukudome is sort of an Ichiro Suzuki-Hideki Matsui hybrid. Like Ichiro, Fukudome is fleet afoot and has a strong throwing arm. Like Matsui, he's a power threat. Although his individual tools in each area aren't quite as pronounced as his two Japanese peers, he provides a more well-rounded blend than either."
Now, forget about Carlos Beltran and Ichiro, we would be thrilled to death if he pulled off numbers that could be likened to Mike Cameron. That's not the level of expectation you want from a guy who is due $38 million over the next three years.
The heat is getting turned up to give Reed Johnson more playing time over Fukudome, and some even having a preference for car-jumping Joey Gathright.
The Cubs won last night, so the fact that Fukudome had four basically useless at-bats can be glossed over, but I'll bet all the money I have in my pockets that the heat would be ten times worse today if the Cubs had lost that game.
So how long can Lou go with Fukudome in center field, and how long can he put him in such a crucial spot in the batting order when he is not producing, nor showing any signs of improvement?
From Hendry's vantage point, it is actually easier if Fukudome continues to suck, because then he at least knows he has a hole in his roster that needs immediate attention. Hendry is the guy that managed to get useful pieces in exchange for Todd Hundley, so some move is not out of the realm of possibility if he deems it necessary.
But what does Hendry do if Fukudome starts hitting again for a couple of weeks? Then what? Do we believe that everything is fixed and that he will continue as a viable hitter for the rest of the season? Or does Hendry take the opportunity to sell high on him with the belief that another god-awful slump can't be far away?
Let's face it, Lou has put Fukudome in the best possible spot in the lineup. His inclination to take pitches gives Soriano some running opportunities when he is on base, so he will see a higher number of fastballs. Even when Soriano isn't on base, teams aren't going to want to walk Fukudome in front of Lee, Bradley, and Ramirez, so again, he will see a high percentage of fastballs.
If Fukudome can't get it together in that environment, he simply isn't going to succeed at all at the major league level anymore. He has been given the batting order equivalent of the old Must See TV slot between "Seinfeld" and "ER." If "Caroline in the City" can get ratings, surely Fukudome can get an occasional hit.
So, would this hypothetical turn-around be a function of Fukudome's talent level, or a function of the role he is asked to play on this team? Is Fukudome more like "Friends," that got a jump-start in a sweet time slot, but was more than capable of carrying its viewers on its own merits? Or is he "Caroline in the City?" Worse yet, what if he is "The Single Guy?"
Jim, Lou - I just want to tell you both good luck, and we're all counting on you.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Not-So-Bold Prediction
It has finally arrived. With the predictability of the swallows returning to Capistrano, with the inevitability of a murderer returning to the scene of a crime, and with the insatiable hunger of Homer returning to the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, my baseball anxiety has returned.
Speaking of predictability, the major media baseball experts have, by and large, jumped on the Cubs blue bandwagon - at least for the regular season.
The Chicago Tribune experts all picked the Cubs to win the Central Division. So did all nine experts on the MLB network. ESPN found four people out of twenty-one to not pick the Cubs to win the Central: Matthew Berry, Eric Karabell, Peter Pascarelli, and Chris Singleton all picked the Cardinals instead of the Cubs. I have never seen expectations for this team higher than they are right now. It scares the hell out of me.
It is hard to deal with lofty expectations as a Cubs fan. You see the team on paper compared with the other teams in the division and you almost have to go with the Cubs. It is sitting there as plain as the football being held in place by Lucy for Charlie Brown to kick.
This leads to the inevitable question: When does the football get yanked away? How will it happen this year?
We've had two great regular seasons in a row followed by monumentally staggering displays of baseball ineptitude in the playoffs. Will the baseball gods follow the same formulaic script? Will they pull out new twists and turns? Perhaps whatever pod people got ahold of Fukudome last year will end up replacing other members of the Cubs with perfect likenesses, minus any baseball talent.
On the other end of the spectrum, could this possibly be the year that the planets align, hell freezes, and the Cubs overcome the weight of a failed century? It certainly is possible. Of course, it’s possible that I’ll be hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark after winning the lottery.
When I wrote for my college newspaper back in the day, I used to volunteer to fill space in the sports section with baseball predictions. I look back on them now and realize that either I am an idiot, or that the game of baseball can be mercilessly unpredictable.
That said, I can make one prediction that I know will come true no matter how the season works out: I will be losing a lot of sleep this summer.
I can't wait.
Speaking of predictability, the major media baseball experts have, by and large, jumped on the Cubs blue bandwagon - at least for the regular season.
The Chicago Tribune experts all picked the Cubs to win the Central Division. So did all nine experts on the MLB network. ESPN found four people out of twenty-one to not pick the Cubs to win the Central: Matthew Berry, Eric Karabell, Peter Pascarelli, and Chris Singleton all picked the Cardinals instead of the Cubs. I have never seen expectations for this team higher than they are right now. It scares the hell out of me.
It is hard to deal with lofty expectations as a Cubs fan. You see the team on paper compared with the other teams in the division and you almost have to go with the Cubs. It is sitting there as plain as the football being held in place by Lucy for Charlie Brown to kick.
This leads to the inevitable question: When does the football get yanked away? How will it happen this year?
We've had two great regular seasons in a row followed by monumentally staggering displays of baseball ineptitude in the playoffs. Will the baseball gods follow the same formulaic script? Will they pull out new twists and turns? Perhaps whatever pod people got ahold of Fukudome last year will end up replacing other members of the Cubs with perfect likenesses, minus any baseball talent.
On the other end of the spectrum, could this possibly be the year that the planets align, hell freezes, and the Cubs overcome the weight of a failed century? It certainly is possible. Of course, it’s possible that I’ll be hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark after winning the lottery.
When I wrote for my college newspaper back in the day, I used to volunteer to fill space in the sports section with baseball predictions. I look back on them now and realize that either I am an idiot, or that the game of baseball can be mercilessly unpredictable.
That said, I can make one prediction that I know will come true no matter how the season works out: I will be losing a lot of sleep this summer.
I can't wait.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Ready or Not, Here Comes the 2009 Season
Finally, the actual, real 2009 baseball season is upon us. Cub fans still have one more day to wait to rinse the bad taste of the New Yankee Stadium experience from our collective palettes.
As I sit on my couch pondering the marathon that is now before the Cubs, snow is coming down and it hardly seems like baseball season is really truly here.
My brain seems to be creating all kinds of reasons to not believe that the new season is here. This is probably a direct result of the Cubs playing in New York like the playoffs never ended. Bad pitching, brutal defense, and lack of anything resembling an offense - these are the things I remember from the end of 2008, and sadly, that is what was on display over the weekend against the Yankees.
I may rue the day I complained that Spring Training was too long. I may find myself quickly wishing the games didn't count again.
Maybe I wouldn't be getting so anxious if the Cubs had managed to do anything well at all over the weekend. Lilly and Harden were throwing batting practice. Fukudome continued to do nothing to show that he even deserves to be on the team, much less its starting centerfielder. The defense caused me to look for the Chico's Bail Bonds sponsorship on the backs of their uniforms.
Yet, despite the horrors of the weekend, this is supposed to be a time of renewal and of hope. Ideally anyway. So, since the Cubs did absolutely nothing tangible to encourage us into thinking this year will be any different than the previous 100 years, I'll have to look for the rays of sunshine myself.
As I sit on my couch pondering the marathon that is now before the Cubs, snow is coming down and it hardly seems like baseball season is really truly here.
My brain seems to be creating all kinds of reasons to not believe that the new season is here. This is probably a direct result of the Cubs playing in New York like the playoffs never ended. Bad pitching, brutal defense, and lack of anything resembling an offense - these are the things I remember from the end of 2008, and sadly, that is what was on display over the weekend against the Yankees.
I may rue the day I complained that Spring Training was too long. I may find myself quickly wishing the games didn't count again.
Maybe I wouldn't be getting so anxious if the Cubs had managed to do anything well at all over the weekend. Lilly and Harden were throwing batting practice. Fukudome continued to do nothing to show that he even deserves to be on the team, much less its starting centerfielder. The defense caused me to look for the Chico's Bail Bonds sponsorship on the backs of their uniforms.
Yet, despite the horrors of the weekend, this is supposed to be a time of renewal and of hope. Ideally anyway. So, since the Cubs did absolutely nothing tangible to encourage us into thinking this year will be any different than the previous 100 years, I'll have to look for the rays of sunshine myself.
- Milton Bradley is not hurt.
- Milton Bradley has not attacked any fans, teammates, coaches, umpires or reporters.
- The last time Carlos Zambrano faced Houston, he threw a no-hitter.
- Derrek Lee has not hit into any double plays in the 2009 season.
- The Cubs' Home Opener has not been postponed (yet).
That's what I have come up with so far. A Cubs victory over Mr. Oswalt tomorrow night will probably help me feel better. Time to go to work, boys.
I'll probably be sending some Twitter updates tomorrow as I watch the game. If you are interested at all in my moment by moment ramblings, feel free to follow me at https://twitter.com/Aisle424.
Friday, April 3, 2009
A True Concern for the Cubs' New Closer
I was walking to work this morning listening to my iPod and my random shuffle came upon the Spinners' "The Rubberband Man." For those who may not recognize the title or artist, it has become the entrance song for Carlos Marmol at Wrigley Field.
It has got a funky groove and I've always liked it, even if it really has nothing to do with intimidation of an opponent, which is ultimately what you would like from a reliever's theme song. There is at least some implication that Carlos is the Rubberband Man because of his great arm (I guess). Seems like a stretch to me (rim shot). In retrospect, this probably should have been the theme song for Terry Mulholland in 1998, but I digress.
As the song played and I tried to visualize myself hearing it at Wrigley in 10 days, I realized that the Cubs have a new closer, and he probably also needs a theme song. I believe there is a subsection buried deep within the baseball rulebook that says:
"8.03a - When the reliever so designated as the Final Reliever (Closer) enters to pitch (either between innings or during an inning in progress), the stadium crew for the Home team shall play a pre-chosen song recording over the stadium sound system for the duration of said reliever's entrance and prepatory pitches."
So after all of the hoo-ha about who actually deserves to be the closer for the Cubs, we have nearly forgotten that Kevin Gregg has no theme music! Thank God I was here to point that out! And thank God you were here to read about it!
I know nothing of Kevin Gregg's taste in music, but I'm going to say here and now, for the record, that the song should NOT be "Welcome to the Jungle" again. I say that not out of loyalty to Kerry Wood, nor because I am trying to break away from the traditions of the failed 2008 season. I am saying that because I hate that f---in' song.
I wanted to stick my Cubs pencil through my ears, into my brain, and swirl it around every time Kerry came in to pitch at Wrigley last year. What the hell does Kerry Wood have to do with a jungle? When has Wrigley Field ever been likened to a jungle? Isn't it about Axl Rose going to Los Angeles? Can we at least try to find something that makes a certain amount of sense instead of going with the first hairband opus we think of?
For the amount of sense "Welcome to the Jungle" made, we might as well just say Gregg's theme is Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and be done with it. Its catchy, it rocks out in an 80s kind of way, and drunk people like to sing along to it. Those seemed to be the major qualifications that went into choosing "Welcome to the Jungle."
Personally, I would get away from the cliche metal theme song. Its been done. Many times. If it were up to me (which, sadly, it is not), I would kick it more old school and let the venerable John Williams set the mood with an orchestral score.
It has got a funky groove and I've always liked it, even if it really has nothing to do with intimidation of an opponent, which is ultimately what you would like from a reliever's theme song. There is at least some implication that Carlos is the Rubberband Man because of his great arm (I guess). Seems like a stretch to me (rim shot). In retrospect, this probably should have been the theme song for Terry Mulholland in 1998, but I digress.
As the song played and I tried to visualize myself hearing it at Wrigley in 10 days, I realized that the Cubs have a new closer, and he probably also needs a theme song. I believe there is a subsection buried deep within the baseball rulebook that says:
"8.03a - When the reliever so designated as the Final Reliever (Closer) enters to pitch (either between innings or during an inning in progress), the stadium crew for the Home team shall play a pre-chosen song recording over the stadium sound system for the duration of said reliever's entrance and prepatory pitches."
So after all of the hoo-ha about who actually deserves to be the closer for the Cubs, we have nearly forgotten that Kevin Gregg has no theme music! Thank God I was here to point that out! And thank God you were here to read about it!
I know nothing of Kevin Gregg's taste in music, but I'm going to say here and now, for the record, that the song should NOT be "Welcome to the Jungle" again. I say that not out of loyalty to Kerry Wood, nor because I am trying to break away from the traditions of the failed 2008 season. I am saying that because I hate that f---in' song.
I wanted to stick my Cubs pencil through my ears, into my brain, and swirl it around every time Kerry came in to pitch at Wrigley last year. What the hell does Kerry Wood have to do with a jungle? When has Wrigley Field ever been likened to a jungle? Isn't it about Axl Rose going to Los Angeles? Can we at least try to find something that makes a certain amount of sense instead of going with the first hairband opus we think of?
For the amount of sense "Welcome to the Jungle" made, we might as well just say Gregg's theme is Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and be done with it. Its catchy, it rocks out in an 80s kind of way, and drunk people like to sing along to it. Those seemed to be the major qualifications that went into choosing "Welcome to the Jungle."
Personally, I would get away from the cliche metal theme song. Its been done. Many times. If it were up to me (which, sadly, it is not), I would kick it more old school and let the venerable John Williams set the mood with an orchestral score.
My first choice would be the Imperial March from Star Wars - any song written to musically indicate Darth Vader coming onto the screen (before we found out he was a whiny mama's boy) has got to be good enough for a Cubs closer.
My second choice would be the Theme from Jaws - Jaws snuck up from below and killed you when you weren't suspecting it (except when he was in 3D, when he tried to eat Dennis Quaid by breaking into an underwater complex). I have to believe that Gregg's current reputation isn't of someone opponents fear on sight. The surprise some batters feel that they have been retired by Gregg at the end of a game may be the baseball equivalent of a shark bite.
Plus, the Cubs marketing department could start using the tag line, "Just when you thought it was safe to play the Cubs at Wrigley..."
See? This is the kind of post you get when Spring Training lasts eight million years. Two more fake games to go and then it gets real.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Cubs Implement New Bubble Technology to Prevent Injuries
The Chicago Cubs have borrowed an idea from Seinfeld to help cease the seemingly endless string of injuries that have plagued Rich Harden and Milton Bradley for their entire careers.The players have all been sealed within hermetically sealed polyurethane environments that are designed to protect the extremely fragile players from further injury or sickness.
"Since we are entering the 2009 season as favorites to win the NL Central, we feel we need to take extreme measures to keep our players on the roster healthy and productive," said Team President, Crane Kenney. "We are very confident that the bubbles will ensure the best of health this season, and we will be able to make a very serious run at the World Series."
"Look, there's no getting around that some of these guys have a hard time staying healthy. Sometimes we need to take some extreme measures to keep guys like Rick and Melvin on the ballfield," said Lou Piniella, apparently referring to Harden and Bradley.
General Manager, Jim Hendry made it clear that the bubbles would be used team-wide, and not only on Harden and Bradley. "We know that D-Lee, A-Ram, and Big Z are starting to show some signs of age. The wear and tear on their bodies can't be ignored. We think the bubbles will really help these guys maintain their high level of play throughout the season."
The New York Yankees have reportedly been in contact with Kenney in hopes that the bubble technology can be used for their own team.
"I would absolutely store C.C. Sabathia in styrofoam peanuts if I thought it was feasible. The bubbles just make sense for everyone. I just wish we had been able to implement the bubbles before losing Alex," said Hank Steinbrenner.
The technology did not come without costs, however. "Unfortunately, the first bubbles did not allow proper ventilation and we lost Ryan Harvey and Mark Pawelek, who suffocated to death while testing them," said Kenney. "We would have tested them on monkeys or bunnies, but we figured nobody would miss them the way they were playing."
"Since we are entering the 2009 season as favorites to win the NL Central, we feel we need to take extreme measures to keep our players on the roster healthy and productive," said Team President, Crane Kenney. "We are very confident that the bubbles will ensure the best of health this season, and we will be able to make a very serious run at the World Series."
"Look, there's no getting around that some of these guys have a hard time staying healthy. Sometimes we need to take some extreme measures to keep guys like Rick and Melvin on the ballfield," said Lou Piniella, apparently referring to Harden and Bradley.General Manager, Jim Hendry made it clear that the bubbles would be used team-wide, and not only on Harden and Bradley. "We know that D-Lee, A-Ram, and Big Z are starting to show some signs of age. The wear and tear on their bodies can't be ignored. We think the bubbles will really help these guys maintain their high level of play throughout the season."
The New York Yankees have reportedly been in contact with Kenney in hopes that the bubble technology can be used for their own team.
"I would absolutely store C.C. Sabathia in styrofoam peanuts if I thought it was feasible. The bubbles just make sense for everyone. I just wish we had been able to implement the bubbles before losing Alex," said Hank Steinbrenner.
The technology did not come without costs, however. "Unfortunately, the first bubbles did not allow proper ventilation and we lost Ryan Harvey and Mark Pawelek, who suffocated to death while testing them," said Kenney. "We would have tested them on monkeys or bunnies, but we figured nobody would miss them the way they were playing."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
