Friday, April 9, 2010

If You Build It, People Will Have Sex In It

A tweet from friend of Aisle 424, Alex Quigley, this morning, alerted me to a column by John Kass in the Tribune about a little romantic interlude between a couple at the White Sox Opening Day that they shared with a bathroom full of urinating men.

Apparently a Sox fan brought his six year old son to the White Sox Opening Day on Monday, and I'll let Mr. Kass take it from there:

One thing about taking little boys to the game is that little boys have to go to the restroom at the wrong time. When my sons were that age, every time they had to go, Frank Thomas or Paulie Konerko would hit a home run.

On Monday, Nemeth's son had to go, and his father took him to the nearest restroom. They stood in line for the first urinal next to a row of stalls.

As they waited, Nemeth said, he noticed noises coming from the last stall. A man's legs — clad in blue jeans and sneakers — were sticking out from under the stall door.

"The toes were pointing up," said Nemeth. "The legs were shaking and quivering. From a visual standpoint, all you had to see was the legs quivering to know something was going on."

As a trained physician, he had an idea what was happening in there, but he worried it might have been something else.

"It was bizarre. It caught the attention of a lot of people. I tried to turn my boy's attention away from it, then I thought, ‘Is someone having a seizure?'

"So I kicked the door, just to get a reaction. I just wanted to make sure nobody was dying in there. That's when I heard a woman's voice yell, ‘HEY, STOP!' Something was going on and I had interrupted."

Moments later, the stall door opened, and a tall, thin, blond man exited. The tall man held his arms up in triumph.

So, Mr. Ricketts, you may want to think twice about making the bathrooms at Wrigley too nice and cozy.   Sox fans invade Wrigley for three games every year and we wouldn't want them to think that the Wrigley bathrooms would be a perfect place to bring some romance back into a stale relationship.
 
I don't even want to think about what Cardinals fans would do in there.

5 comments:

waxpaperbeercup.com said...

i read this story yesterday and it just made me sick to my stomach. my heart goes out to the father. you try and take your kid to his favorite teams home opener and instead of celebrating the teams win you walk away trying to explain this. un-fucking-real.

we've really allowed fan behavior to fall to an absolute low in this country. this is not a white sox issue, this is an issue with a group of people that in public acts like drunken obnoxious assholes, with no regards for others (particularly kids or elders). sadly, this type of shit could and probably does happen at any ballpark in this country. at some point as a parent, i guess you just say 'it isn't worth it' and you quit taking your kids to games.

yeah, i guess that means the obnoxious animals have won. why have we allowed these fucking people to take over? maybe it's because nobody has ever taught these people how the fuck to act. it's a real shame, imho.

Aisle 424 said...

this is not a white sox issue, this is an issue with a group of people that in public acts like drunken obnoxious assholes, with no regards for others (particularly kids or elders). sadly, this type of shit could and probably does happen at any ballpark in this country.

yeah - it is handy to be able to make fun of the Sox, but you nailed it, this is not limited to the South side of Chicago. This could have easily happened at Wrigley, at Soldier Field, the United Center, or anywhere else in the country.

I'm not a parent yet, but this sort of stuff will defintely make me think twice before bringing my kids to a ballpark, which is a shame because I would love for my kids to also love baseball.

baseballjen said...

And it's not limited to baseball, either, or even sports for that matter. Society in general continues to go downhill in the areas of decency and respect for others. My guess is that these people had some fantasy to do it in public and at the ballpark, and to hell with anyone else who might find it objectionable.

I don't know if anything can be done legally to those involved, but if so, I hope they nab them and prosecute them to the fullest.

waxpaperbeercup.com said...

Society in general continues to go downhill in the areas of decency and respect for others.

you are right on jen. i just cannot for the life of me understand how other human beings can ruin an experience for someone else and think nothing of their actions.

what even angers me more about the kass column is the moron came out of the stall like he was some kind of hero and a bunch of imbeciles high fived the guy. somebody should have been escorting him to stadium security.

gfoutris said...

Damn Sox fans!!! a bunch of low class punks

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