tweet from friend of Aisle 424, Alex Quigley, this morning, alerted me to a column by John Kass in the Tribune about a little romantic interlude between a couple at the White Sox Opening Day that they shared with a bathroom full of urinating men.
Apparently a Sox fan brought his six year old son to the White Sox Opening Day on Monday, and I'll let Mr. Kass take it from there:
One thing about taking little boys to the game is that little boys have to go to the restroom at the wrong time. When my sons were that age, every time they had to go, Frank Thomas or Paulie Konerko would hit a home run.
On Monday, Nemeth's son had to go, and his father took him to the nearest restroom. They stood in line for the first urinal next to a row of stalls.
As they waited, Nemeth said, he noticed noises coming from the last stall. A man's legs — clad in blue jeans and sneakers — were sticking out from under the stall door.
"The toes were pointing up," said Nemeth. "The legs were shaking and quivering. From a visual standpoint, all you had to see was the legs quivering to know something was going on."
As a trained physician, he had an idea what was happening in there, but he worried it might have been something else.
"It was bizarre. It caught the attention of a lot of people. I tried to turn my boy's attention away from it, then I thought, ‘Is someone having a seizure?'
"So I kicked the door, just to get a reaction. I just wanted to make sure nobody was dying in there. That's when I heard a woman's voice yell, ‘HEY, STOP!' Something was going on and I had interrupted."
Moments later, the stall door opened, and a tall, thin, blond man exited. The tall man held his arms up in triumph.
So, Mr. Ricketts, you may want to think twice about making the bathrooms at Wrigley too nice and cozy. Sox fans invade Wrigley for three games every year and we wouldn't want them to think that the Wrigley bathrooms would be a perfect place to bring some romance back into a stale relationship.
I don't even want to think about what Cardinals fans would do in there.